When Tod returns
by LisaLauren
Summary: *IF I DIE SPOILERS* Soul screamers series: Set two weeks after Kaylee dies, Tod still hasn't come back yet. This is my version of what happens when he does... :)
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: Hey! This is my first fanfic, so I hope you like it! :)**

**Seeing as "Before I Wake" hasn't been released yet, I'm trying not to make up anything regarding Kaylee's job or how Tod comes back, because I don't want to contradict the books in anyway. This fanfic is based purely on Taylee romance. ;)**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>I'm on my way to the Cinemark to work my normal hours, despite my dad's failed attempts to keep me at home, when the realisation that Tod is gone hits me like a ton of bricks.<p>

Two weeks has passed since I had died, and I still haven't come to terms with the fact that Tod no longer exists. That he's never coming back. Ever.

Suddenly, I can't bear to face selling tickets or serving popcorn while the whole time, all I'll be thinking about is how often Tod would come to visit me and Em at the cinema, having us believe he was just there for the food and free company. How he would always say the funniest things, and then sport a satisfied grin when we would both burst into fits of laughter.

No. I can't handle that.

So instead I turn my car around, and head towards Eastlake High. The place where I escaped an evil hellion out for my soul, witnessed the death and revival of my best friend, discovered my math teacher was a life-sucking lust demon, and, most importantly, first kissed Tod.

I slam my car door shut, and head towards the building. It's around four in the afternoon and, other than a few students attending afterschool lessons or meetings, the school is practically deserted. I sit down on the front steps and my eyes slowly begin to water. I think of Tod's bright blue eyes, his sarcastic tone, his lopsided grin, and suddenly I'm bawling, crying more than I ever have before.

It's like I'm all alone in a storm, and I've just lost my life-preserver, the only thing keeping me from drowning into a dark sea of nothingness. The only thing stopping me from giving up and just letting the water take me in its icy grasp – gone. I can't control my sobs.

"Kay, don't cry. Please don't cry..."  
>My heart stops beating and I turn around to spot the worried eyes and concerned frown of a familiar, yet distant, face.<p>

It can't be him. It can't be.

"Tod?"

It comes out as a choked whisper, and the man before me flashes a crooked smile. My heart skips a beat.

"The one and only." he says. Before I know it, I'm on my feet, and staring desperately at the bizarre hallucination. Because that's all he could possibly be – an illusion. Some sort of sick trick my mind was playing on me. But when I look into his eyes, Tod's eyes, all I see is love, and joy, and _relief._

Slowly, his appearance starts to sink in.

"Tod!" I exclaim, and when I jump into his warm embrace and snuggle into his chest, it's as if he'd never left. A comforted sigh escapes his lips.

"God, I missed you Kaylee. I never stopped thinking about you. Not for a moment."  
>I look up at him and see a flash of pain swirl in his irises. I want to make that pain disappear – I want him to never have to feel such an emotion ever again.<p>

"What... what happened?" I stutter.

Tod shoots me a playful grin. "Well, I sort of lost my job. But don't worry – I hear the local cafe's got an opening for 'dead guys with the ability to kill people'. I'm sure I'll be employed in no time..." I can't help but laugh, despite the circumstances. At least, his sense of humour is still intact. But I still need answers.

"How are you here, Tod? Levi said he'd already handed in your soul – that you couldn't be saved..." I wince at the memory.

Tod stops smiling and leans down to whisper softly into my ear. "That's a long story. But I can tell you that I'm here to stay, soul and all. That is..." he steps back to look me in the eye, "...if you want me to stay?" He looks nervous, and my heart breaks slowly with every word.

"Do I want you stay? Of course I do!" I take a deep breath and get on my tippy toes to plant a trail of kisses along his jaw line. "I love you, Tod. More than anything in the world. I need you to stay."

He grins, and kisses me passionately on the lips. I slide my arms around his neck and feel his hands against my lower back. I press into him eargerly, and suddlenly I want more. I need more.

I quickly pull away from him, shaking my thoughts away. Tod looks at me, confused.

"What's wrong? Do you want to stop? Cause that's okay by me, you just say the word and –"  
>I cut him off with a kiss. He's smiling as he steps back, his burning gaze laced with desire.<p>

"That's just thing." I say finally, "I don't _want_ you to stop. I don't want us to to stop."

Tod raises one eyebrow and asks huskily, "What _do_ you want, Ms. Cavanaugh?"  
>I blush under his blazing glare. <em>I want you.<em>

I breathe in a shaky breathe and try to hide my embarrasment. Tod chuckles softly then places one hand under my chin, gently bringing my eyes to meet his.

"Hey, don't be ashamed. Whatever it is, I'm sure I'd give to you in a heartbeat. I love you Kaylee..." I gasp as his soft lips brush against my own, kissing me with so much emotion, I doubted whether or not he'd have any left. His face then falls into my hair, and he murmurs softly "You know I'd do anything for you."

I don't even need to look into his eyes to know he's telling the truth. So instead, I summon the courage to tell him what I want.

"Let's go somewhere a little more... private." I whisper suggestively and Tod's eyes churn earnestly, "Somehow, I don't think Eastlake High is romantic enough for what I had in mind..."

He looks at me and I see the slightest hint of uncertainty in his eyes, before it is completely clouded by his longing. His hunger.

For me.

I feel giddy at the thought of him wanting me just as much as I want him. But as curious as he is as to what my intentions are, Tod simply grabs hold of my hand and grins.

"As you wish, Ms. Cavanaugh."


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: I hope you liked the first chapter! THERE WILL BE MORE. **

**Hope you like Chapter Two! :)**

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><p>"You can come in - nobody's home." I tell Tod, and he closes the door behind him.<p>

By nobody, I mean my dad, and, seeing as he's not here, we won't have to worry about him walking in on us.

I walk over to where Tod is standing, and pull him down onto the couch. His suprized expression makes me laugh, but the sound is muffled by our heated kisses. I hear a low moan escape Tod's lips as we pause for air. He tries to sit-up, but I push him back down playfully. He smiles at me skeptically; wondering what's gotten into me, but enjoying it too much to ask.

I slide one hand under is thin shirt and explore his many contours. The solidness of his stomach muscles make me wonder what he did to keep in shape before he died.  
>Suddenly, Tod pulls away from me, and I instanly miss his warmth. Frustrated, I look at him at him and ask, "Did I do something wrong?"<p>

Tod laughs shakily and replies, "No! No, you did not. In fact, you're doing everything _but _wrong. I'm just getting a bit, erm, excited..."

Huh? _Oh.  
><em>  
>"What if I <em>want <em>you to get excited?" I say slowly, sitting up so I can lean in closer to him. "What if I want _you_?"  
>I reach down and slip my hand down the waistband of his jeans. Tods jumps up, eyes wide.<p>

"Kaylee..."

His words falter at the end. _He's caving...  
><em>  
>I hop off the couch and wrap my arms around his torso. "C'mon Tod. I know you want this as much as I do."<p>

My hands reach for the hem of my cotton t-shirt, and I pull it swiftly over my head. A flash of desire churns in Tod's eyes before he turns away quickly. His strong hands wrap around mine as he pulls pulls them away from the clasp of my bra. He sighs deeply, then says, "Kay. You don't have to do this. You know I'd be perfectly fine with just a movie. Try to remember," he kisses me once, gently, then again with urgency, "we do have forever."

I gasp with each kiss, and soon begin to think more clearly. He's right. I drop my hands to my sides in defeat.

"What movie?" I ask him, as I slide back onto the couch.

He grins in triumph, then replies teasingly, "I was thinking something scary, like maybe 'The Descent'. That way, not only will I be able to serve as your faithful protector against all things frightening, but I'll also get to see the expression on your face when your scared out of your mind."

I shove him lightly, and laugh. "Tod, I've fought an incubus, cheated a soul-sucking demon, _and _seen Sophie in the morning. I doubt I'll be scared by some lame movie."

He puts in the DVD and turns on the TV. "I wouldn't be so sure..." he says.

About halfway through the movie, I'm covering my ears to stop hearing the screaming, and my face is hidden in Tod's big arms.

_Shit. _This movie is freaky.

Another scream errupts from the TV screen and Tod chuckles as I shudder with fear. I'm suddenly glad I'm not watching the movie alone.

"We don't have to watch this, you know." whispers Tod, and I jump at the sound of his voice. I look up, expecting to see him amused to see me so shaken, and instead find sincerity swirling in his eyes.

I twist my head round so that my lips meet his. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer. I respond by moving on top of him, my legs straddling his torso, then leaning down to kiss his collar bone.

"You know, a guy could get use to this..." he says roughly, a huge grin plastered onto his face. My heart soars at his joy, and I smile back at him.

"Oh really?" I graze my lips against his stomach. He groans, and slides his hands under my top.

We kiss deeply, his need apparent against my thighs, and I hold onto him tighter.

Keys rattle in the front door.

Suddenly, me and Tod are sitting side by side, his arm wrapped casually around my shoulders, both of us pretending to watch the rest of the forgotten film.

My dad walks into the room, takes one look at us, and frowns.

"Tod?" he asks wearily, "I thought you were... y'know. Gone."

Tod clears his throat and repeats what he had told me: that Levi had pulled a few strings, made a few tough decisions, and that he isn't going anywhere.

But my father's curiosity's a lot harder to satisfy than my own. His questions were never ending - "Why would he do that?", "Are you aware of the consequences?", "When did they decide that?" – and finally, I'd had enough.

"Dad! Seriously. Leave him alone!" I yell. The room falls silent.

My dad blinks twice before turning back to Tod.

"Have you seen Harmony yet?"

Tod's head falls. He face is a heat-breaking mixture of pain and regret.

"No, not yet. Do you think I should? I mean, would it be good for her?"

My dad thinks about it for a second, before replying, "I honestly don't know. But she was really upset when you left, and, if it had been Kaylee in your shoes, I would have definitely wanted to see her again."

The look on Tod's face almost brings me to tears.

"I guess I should probably go see her now." He turns to me and places a soft kiss on my forehead, "Bye, Kaylee."

I reach for his hand, just before he leaves, and give it a gentle squeeze. "Good luck." I whisper.

And then he's gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hmmm... I'm not to sure if I'll continue this fanfic after this chapter. "Before I Wake" is coming out soon, and I don't really see the point of writing about what happens after "If I Die" when there'll soon be a whole book out about it (one that is actually written by the author). But I still might write one more chapter. It depends on whether you guys want me to or not...  
>If I decide not to continue this story, I will be writing ANOTHER fanfic after "Before I Wake" has been released, so don't worry. ;)<strong>

**Aaanywaays, I hope you enjoy this latest chapter! :D**

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><p>The misery I saw in Tod's eyes when he came back was almost unbearable.<p>

He told me about how upset, but mostly relieved, his mother had been when Tod had explained his situation, and how Nash still would not speak to him.

Although he would never tell me this, I know that the fact that Nash feels he's been betrayed by his own brother hurts Tod more than he lets on. But he won't ever let _me _feel bad about what us being together did to Nash.

"C'mon Kaylee, it's not your fault how he reacted. It was his own decision," he'd say firmly, tilting my chin up to meet his gaze. "Besides, if he's mad at anyone, it should be me."

I still feel guilty every time my heart soars at the sight of Tod, although I know how unfair that is. Why shouldn't Tod be wanted for once? He saved Addison despite her obvious lack of returned feelings, he's spent the last two years alone, and he's never exactly going to get girls fighting over him the way Sabine and I did over Nash.  
>And it wasn't like Tod was the one who kissed me – <em>I <em>kissed _him._

So, why does he have to take the blame?

He didn't even try to win me over. All he did was tell me the truth about my relationship with Nash; a truth I really needed to hear. No I-love-you-more-than-him speeches, or secretly-trying-to-make-you-fall-in-love-with-me kisses. He just waited. And waited. For me.

He doesn't deserve any guilt.

I think this over as I prepare dinner, subconsciously wishing he was here. It's been almost a week since I'd seen him last.

I let out a wistful sigh, then turn around to take the pizza out of the oven.

"Ouch!" I squeal in surprise.  
>Immediately I drop the burning pizza-pan, and it clatters noisily against the wooden floorboards.<p>

I'm at the tap before I can think, and the icy water coming out of the tap sends shivers up my spine. _Well, that was clever…_

I jump as strong arms wrap around my waist, but then I relax and smile at the familiar laughter coming from behind me.

"You know, if you wanted pizza, you could've just asked," Tod says.

I turn and give him a playful shove, before turning serious. I lower my gaze and struggle for the right words. I look back up and into his bright blue eyes with a burst of sudden courage.

"I would of asked you," I start carefully, "if I had known where you were."

I watch Tod's grin disappear, and he runs a hand through his short blonde curls.  
>He lets out a defeated sigh.<p>

"It's Nash."

I freeze at his name, and immediately fear the worst.

"Is he all right? He's not... he didn't..." I trail off, hopelessly lost for words. "He's not on the list, is he?"

Tod shakes his head so fast I would have missed it if it hadn't been for his next words, "No! No. It's not that. It's... He's high Kaylee."

My confusion must be clear in my eyes, because Tod continues, "But this isn't his usual high. This is _bad. _Like how he was after he saw us... y'know. But about 10 times worse."

Although it feels like that day was a hundred years ago, I find it hard to imagine anything worse than the high Nash was on then.

_Actually…_

I think back to Scott Carter's mental breakdown, and how he nearly killed me in a fit of rage driven by Demon's Breath. But Nash couldn't be _that _bad... could he?

I take a deep breath and look straight into Tod deep blue eyes, hoping beyond hope that he can't see the fear surely swirling in my irises.

"Take me to him," I whisper. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all your lovely reviews! They really meant a lot to me. :')  
><strong>**  
>I've decided to write a few more chapters now, so be on the look out for updates soon! In the mean-time, I hope you enjoy this chapter. :D<strong>

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><p>I don't know what I was expecting – anger, suspicion, maybe even tears – but this was definitely not it.<p>

"Hey, Kaylee," says Nash, with a warm smile. He sits on the Hudsons' burgundy sofa with an almost smug look on his face, TV remote in hand.

I turn back to Tod, surprised by Nash's composure and, well, normality.

He shrugs, but his eyes give way to his unease. "I swear he was different this morning. Threw a couple of things, shouted words I won't repeat... I probably would've lost an eye too, if I hadn't gone incorporeal in time."

I look back at the boy I used to love, still grinning goofily from the couch, and try to match him up with Tod's description.

"Nope," I say at last. "I can't see it. He seems fine to me – better than fine, in fact. At least he's talking to us now…"

Nash frowns. "Uh, you do know that I can hear you two, right?"  
>He looks straight at me, barely acknowledging Tod's existence. Or, non-existence. Speaking of which…<p>

"I'm dead," I say to Nash.

His brows raise at my bluntness, and for once I'm glad I didn't stop to think about what I would say – otherwise, I probably would've realized how stupid it sounded and backed out.

"I know." He looks almost nervous as he adds, "Mom told me everything about… you know. What happened."

I can't believe I didn't realize this earlier, judging by his complete lack of reaction after seeing me for the first time since my death.

I sigh deeply. "Of course she told you…"

He frowns, his face full of concern but his eyes blank. "I'm so sorry, Kaylee. I can't begin to imagine what you must've gone through…" He reaches out and touches my forearm, gently stroking my skin, and only then do I notice how cold he is.

I freeze.

_He's high,_ my brain screams as I clench my teeth in rage. _He's high, and he's trying to trick you._

Tod growls from behind me, no-doubt because of the unwanted contact, but Nash ignores him and looks straight at me with that same empty stare.

"Look, I still love you, and I'm willing to forgive you, if you're willing to give me another chance. I understand completely – people make mistakes. I mean, Tod's been working his way inside your head for months now, so I really can't blame you for taking his bait. But, at the end of the day, he's still just a desperate dead guy with no real emotions or morals, and the sooner you realise he's no good for you the better…"

I jerk my arm away, and gape at him in shock. "What the hell are you talking about?! Tod hasn't been doing _anything_ to my mind, he's got plenty of emotions, and, in case you haven't noticed – I'm just as dead as he is! Also," I grab hold of Tod's hand and search his eyes urgently for some sign of understanding as to what I am about to admit, but the blues twist too fast to tell, "I think I'm in love with him."

Tod's eyes melt instantly, and suddenly the turquoise waves stop their crashing and drift into a steady stream of melancholy. He then smiles at me so brightly, I swear the stars all dim in comparison.

Nash, on the other hand, fumes. "Kaylee…" he whispers menacingly, his calm façade long gone. "Come. here."

His influence hits me like a brick wall, and the urge to go to him, to just walk over and sit with him, is over-whelming. My mind goes blank - who was I just talking to? – and instantly the only thing I can think about is how much I _want _to be near Nash. How much I _need _to be near him.

The next thing I know I'm on the sofa and Tod is talking _very_ carefully, as if trying not to startle someone, his words practically shaking with restrained fury. "Nash, you can't do this to her. Not again…"

Do what to me? I feel perfectly fine.

There's something strange about the way Tod's acting though, like he's being pulled in two different directions.

And then I notice it – the gun. Nash holds it to his own leg, no doubt threatening to fire, and I suddenly remember what's going on. I don't want this!

Nash whispers words into my ear, sweeter than honey, and soon my head is foggy again. _I _do_ want Nash – I want him to kiss me._

I feel my body go limp as I give in to the drowning sensation that encompasses me.

Tod inches closer, eyes fixated on the weapon in his brother's possession, and I hear Nash threaten, "Move any closer, and I swear it'll be _her_ getting shot instead." At that, Tod jumps back immediately, the frustration apparent in his features.

I grow impatient; _Kiss me!_ I want to scream at Nash as he talks to me more, his words wrapping me up tighter than a winter coat.

He looks me straight in the eye, then cups my face with his free hand and kisses me roughly, hungrily. I struggle at first, but just barely; I _want _this.

His hand trails down from my jaw, along my collar bone to the curve of my waist, and I kiss him back with a desire too strong to resist.

After about 5 seconds though, we're pulled apart, and the next thing I see is Tod, gun in hand, pointing the firearm at Nash.

"Get. The fuck. Away from her." he roars, and I'm back again. What just happened?!

Then I remember the gun and scream at Tod, "Stop!"

He looks up at me, pulls down the gun, and drops it to the ground with a thud.

Silence fills the room.

Nash stares at me, his expression wild. "Don't let him take you!" he urges fiercely, reaching for my arm.

I turn to Tod and he must see the panic in my eyes, because he grabs my hand instantly and asks, "Your place?"

I nod quickly, eager to get away from this person I no longer recognise, and the last thing I see before we blink out is Nash's face contorted in pain.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry! I know it's been a while (*cough* 3 months *cough*) but I hope this chapter makes up for it! :)**

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><p>"Kaylee."<p>

A familiar voice awakens me, and I am met with two deep blue eyes staring intently back into mine.

I sit up fast – too fast – and my head spins. My bed's purple quilt shifts as I struggle to bring myself up to face Tod.

"Whoa! Easy there…" His arms are around me in an instant and, with great care, he helps me up.

"What happened?" I demand, hating how weak I must look. My mind is foggy from sleep and my head throbs painfully with each beat of my pulse.

Tod's eyes grow cold, his lips twisting into an icy scowl that might have once frightened me if it were aimed in my direction. "Too much Influence," he answers with contempt. "Nobody should ever be given that much at one time. Any _bean sidhe_ in their right mind would know that."

Images from earlier tonight flash through my mind: Nash's friendly pretense. Tod's distrusting frown. My kiss with Nash.

The gun.

Through all this however, the one memory that burns in my mind is the desperate expression worn by my ex-boyfriend as we fled, so lost, so full of sorrow. I frown. "That's the thing," I tell Tod. "Nash isn't _in_ his right mind."

I close my eyes and all I can feel are Nash's cold lips pressing against mine, the burning influence manipulating my every thought to his will. I want to cry, but I know tears won't take back what he's done, so instead I let myself fall into Tod's safe embrace where no one can ever hurt me.

The scariest part of all that had happened wasn't the kiss, or even Nash's high-induced anger. No, what scared me most was how helpless I had been in his hands. Losing control - that's what frightens me more than anything.

I open my eyes as Tod gently brushes away a stray tear sliding down my cheek. Suddenly, it's all too much.

I break in his arms, my head pressed against his chest, unable to control my shaking body. He hugs me tighter and silently curses. "Damn it, Nash."

His voice is a whirlwind of emotion and I struggle to make out what exactly he's feeling; everything ranging from protective rage to dejected frustration crashes in his eyes, and I search them pleadingly, willing him to listen. "Tod. There has to be something we can do."

He shakes his head firmly. "No, Kaylee. You can't be near him. Not while he's like this." Our hands meet and Tod squeezes mine reassuringly in his. "He's my brother; it's my job to look out for him."

His voice is fiercely determined and I can't help but smile ever-so-slightly at this rare display of sentiment over Nash. It's obvious Tod cares a big deal for his brother - he did, after all, give his life for his - though he'd never admit it of his own will.

He sends a small smile back at me, his eyes giving way to the tiny spark of joy interrupting his otherwise darkening mood.

_I want to see him grin_, I think to myself. _I want to make him laugh away all his worries, all my fears._

I want him to kiss me.

So many things I desire, yet even the tiniest gesture - his fingers reaching out to brush my hair out of my eyes - gives me goose-bumps I almost sigh at the warmth of his touch, at the gentle feel of his skin.

It's so bizarre; I've always assumed that being dead would mean the end of any real love, that this - us - wouldn't feel the same at all. And although the latter is true in a sense (things do feel _very_ different) Tod is definite proof that not needing a heartbeat doesn't mean you can't find someone to help it beat for you.

I lean in and kiss him, surprising him for a moment, before he manages to kiss me back. He wraps his arms around my waist and brings me closer, his lips moving slowly against mine, savouring every second. This feels so different from our usual kisses, so gentle and precise, the others always driven by a wild sort of lust. I smile. His lips taste deliciously sweet and the purity of his hold on me is enthralling.

After what feels like a lifetime - yet nowhere near long enough - Tod pulls away slightly, his churning gaze never leaving mine. Our breathing is heavy, despite the slow pace of our kiss, and through what sounds almost like laughter he says, "Kaylee Cavanaugh, if this isn't love I don't know what is."

I raise an eyebrow in mock-disbelief. "Did you just say what I think you said? That you, Tod-the-big-bad-reaper, _looove_ me?" Childish, I know, but it does receive the desired effect. Tod spouts a grin bigger than any I've ever seen, in life _or_ death.

"Hmm, not those exact words, but... yes." His eyes burn a deep hue of blue, his expression sincere. "I love you more than anything in this world."

A warm ache spreads through my chest and suddenly I am consumed by an overwhelming urge to kiss the tough, sarcastic and _hopelessly_-romantic softie before me. So I do.

"I love you too," I whisper, as our lips meet once more.


End file.
